VALUE SYSTEMS IN CHILDREN

Career GuidanceWith the changing times, a lot of things will change; we were children once and will have children now and this cycle of life goes on. It’s about knowing the change and being aware of what is the need for today and act likewise. There was a time when women only stayed indoors, but times have changed where women are seen doing everything which they never tried before.

Into a changed Era
Every single era has proved that there is a prelude to the event always and only then the events appear before us. When we look back, buying a cycle for going to the school was considered to be a big thing and it needed a lot of persuasion on part of the child to convince parents and it warranted a lot of thought process before the real buy happened.

Now are the times when children decide what they want and the parents just listen. Rare are the events where children are denied their demands. Perhaps due to this there is an innate confidence in the children that the parents can hardly say no to at least their material wish lists.

As far as this attitude is concerned, I agree that the information technology has made knowledge pass on quite simple and fast but the same has reduced the scope of discussions where the children are confronting with “No” as replies. On one hand the children have gained a lot of offhand information about the vast range of indicative and material needs and on the other hand –
  • They seem to have more knowledge to exhibit with the way they handle the gadgets.
  • They have become more independent.
  • They have become more observant.
  • They have become more prone to opinions available on the internet.
With this changed scenario, the best way to help the children is to talk to them about their views very openly and ensure that we accept them as pot to be molded; exactly like a potter does. This is important to understand because by the time they would be grown up to face this world the times would have changed further and pace may further be impacted.

Unique experiences of each Individual child
It’s not that we are not aware of this fact, but sometimes we fail to understand, that we can only inculcate the value systems in the children. It is they who would face the moments independently and reflect and respond to life. Life remains to be a heap of experiences which would flow to them every moment and they would be required to constructively handle their lives for themselves and those others around them too.

Avoid opinionated responses
Instead of making them sound in their skills, we sometimes play wrongly by being protective about them. Lot of parents choose to give opinionated response to their child if he/she comes with a question of someone else’s behavior. For e.g., a child is seen to interact with all his different friends equally and the parent intrudes with their views about being different with different friend, or value only those friends who are intelligent or beware of the wrong friends, etc. This just adds bias to their life and adulterates the way they handle their life, people and experiences.

The parents need to understand that all relationships would be handled by the children in future single handedly, so why bias their opinions. Let them handle it directly. This will enable them to understand and express what they can accept and what they can’t. By avoiding opinionated responses, actually parents teach their child about how to handle and maintain relationships with all kinds of people.

Being Expressive
Most of the children are not able to learn to express their denial about a certain thing because that was handled for them by their parents. Parents fail to understand that they are not helping the kids but are taking away their opportunity to learn to express. And then when they grow up they get frustrated with a little rift in the relationships. They are not able to express denial and seem to accumulate them and turn them to a big issue in relationships. Make your child learn to have patience without taxing their own selves. Let the process of patience be a smooth flow to them rather than an event full of efforts.

Children take up visible points from our life and apply those to their lives but the fact remains that they are given an individual identity by this universe and they have their life callings to become the same. We can just be a mentor to inculcate the values and show them the directions. While introducing them the values we should remember that they should be able to effortlessly learn the way to find their own directions gradually. Everyone has a dharma to follow, a life calling of one’s existence, after all.

“Introduce the value systems and accept the complete creative minds of children and only then the performances will flow effortlessly within them making them to stand out always on their own.”
ShachiMaheshwari

Author: Shachi Maheshwari
You may reach the author at shachimg@yahoo.com
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Published on 6/20/2017 4:37:00 PM
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value systems in children parents opinionated responses Being Expressive
 



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